Sitting in Church this morning, I looked at the date, and I suddenly realized that I will be 25 in just 3 months. Wow that is crazy, where has time gone. I remember my 21st like it was yesterday. That birthday was very special to me. I go to spend it with my best friend for the first time. I also lived on my own which was something else to celebrate. Jess and I were roommates, but still no parents, or other people to tell me what to do or when I had to be home.
I have kind of live on my own for some time now. I have lived here and there since I was 17. I first moved in with a couple from my church, that lasted until right before I graduated high school. I moved out of there because I did not feel welcome. I then moved in with another family from church just to finish out high school and to get a job. Then I had to move out. Next I found my first roommate. We will call her Sue (that is not her name, but for reasons we will not go there). Sue had a child, which was no problem for me. We lived together for months, then one day I wake up in the middle of the night and there is a stack of $1 bills on my bedside table, as well as the baby monitor. She texted me that she was going out, and leaving her daughter there with me. I though maybe something happened and she didn’t want to wake her up, no big deal. That didn’t bother me to much. Then this kept happening. Eventually I woke up when she came home and she was standing in the living room naked, with guys. I was scared. Then she got a stripper pole in her bedroom and became open about it. I was not okay with that, she basically told me if I wasn’t okay with what she was doing that I needed to move out. I had already been planning on moving out anyways, so I did. The brings me to some of the greatest people I’ve ever met. They were so sweet, and I could have lived with them much longer if I wanted to. I lived with them for 2 years. Then I moved in with Jess and we lived in 3 different places over a longer period of time.
Finally I made the big move to South Carolina with my nanny family. I have lived with them for almost a year and may live with them for another before I get to where I can have my own place. Being a live in nanny has its ups and downs. I do not have to buy most of my groceries, I do not have to pay rent, or internet, or utilities. However I have someone constantly hounding me about my bedroom not being spotless. I do not feel that people should spend all the time in the world on cleaning. I think we should all live some, and not care so much about material things. They constantly say that they work hard for the things that they have, I get that and I work hard for what I have too. However I also work hard to have those things and enjoy them. Maybe I am different and need more downtime than most. I cannot be constantly moving. At this point I need a day to regroup without them around.
Right now I want more than anything to have my own place for me and Harley. I do not want to live in a bedroom anymore. I want to be able to have a mess and not have to clean it up if I don’t want to. I want to be able to leave my bedroom door open and Harley can go where ever and do whatever he wants in the house. I want to come home and sit around in my underwear. I want to open the windows with its only 70 out instead of running the air. When the air is on no matter how hot it is, I get cold, I am constantly under a blanket or in long sleeves. Even more than most of those things, I want my own bathroom, where I can spread my makeup out on the counter.
There are times on my days off where I feel I shouldn’t come out of my room. I can no one is forcing me to stay in here, but I feel like I’m intruding on their family time when I come out. I am with the kids more than they are so they want me when they see me. This being the case I really should stay in my room. I have plenty to do, with my crafting, blogging and Netflix. I keep entertained, but would love to be able to do that in any room of the house. I always wonder if other live in nannies feel the same way I do.
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